Playfight and Trauma

Trauma is often seen as something mysterious and dark. It’s easy to think of it as something to fear, something that marks us in ways we can’t change. But trauma is part of life, and it’s an integral part of who we are. Instead of viewing trauma as a villain, we can see it as a part of our story—a source of strength and wisdom. It doesn’t have to define us, but it can help us grow when we approach it with care and awareness.

In Playfight, we walk the line between comfort and discomfort. The practice invites us to step outside of our usual boundaries, but the key is that we do this with a focus on safety. We know that real transformation happens when we feel supported and cared for, even when we’re challenging ourselves. The goal isn’t to push ourselves past our breaking point, but to explore our edges while maintaining a sense of security. This balance of safety and challenge is what makes Playfight so powerful.

However, it’s important to recognize that old traumas—whether personal or collective—can sometimes emerge during Playfight. These aren’t always easy to predict, but they are part of our shared human experience. When we engage in Playfight, we open ourselves up to deeper connections, and sometimes those connections include parts of ourselves that have been buried due to past pain.

For example, collective trauma from violence, abuse, or oppression can surface unexpectedly. The trauma of violence doesn’t just affect individuals; it affects communities and cultures. These wounds can emerge in subtle ways during a Playfight session, often manifesting as discomfort, intense emotional responses, or withdrawal. In those moments, it’s essential to assess the situation carefully. We can’t assume that discomfort is simply part of the play. We must check in, inquire, and make space for participants to process whatever emotions or reactions have surfaced.

One of the most important tools we use in Playfight is the pause. When the facilitator perceives a reaction that signals discomfort or emotional intensity, they ask the playfighters to pause their encounter. This allows us to check in with how the participants are feeling. The pause serves as a moment of awareness and helps prevent automatic, reactive responses like fight or flight. It gives participants time to reflect, breathe, and reconnect with their bodies and emotions. This small yet powerful tool can be incredibly beneficial because it allows participants to process what’s happening in real-time and regain a sense of control.

The pause also creates space for the facilitator to offer support and guidance. It’s a moment to ensure that everyone feels safe, seen, and heard. For many, this pause is a grounding experience—a chance to move from reactivity to choice. It’s a reminder that we don’t have to rush through our emotions or experiences; we can take our time, check in with ourselves, and move at our own pace.

This process also taps into the body's nervous system. The sympathetic nervous system, known as the "fight or flight" response, is activated when we feel threatened. On the other hand, the parasympathetic nervous system is responsible for bringing us back to a calm, grounded state. During Playfight, our nervous system is constantly balancing between these two states. The pause plays a crucial role in helping regulate this process, bringing us back to a calmer state and allowing us to integrate what we’re feeling and experiencing on a subconscious level.

Playfight isn’t just about physical interaction—it’s about empowering participants on both a conscious and subconscious level. By navigating our discomforts and traumas in a safe space, we help our bodies and minds rewire their responses to stress. Through this process, we build emotional resilience, self-awareness, and healing. It’s not about eliminating trauma, but rather transforming our relationship with it. We can learn to move through it with strength and clarity.

Ultimately, Playfight is a practice of empowerment. It’s about learning to dance with both the light and the shadow of our past experiences. Trauma doesn’t control us—it’s part of our journey. And with tools like the pause, we can move through those experiences safely and consciously, rewiring our responses and allowing for deeper healing.

Playfight offers a unique and transformative way to explore connection, empowerment, and emotional resilience. For those curious about the practice, we offer basic sessions that are perfect for safely discovering what Playfight is all about. These sessions provide a welcoming and supportive space where you can experience the fundamentals of Playfight, including its emphasis on safety, playfulness, and the balance between comfort and challenge.

For those who want to go deeper, we offer advanced sessions, which take the form of Playfight days, weekends, or retreats. These immersive experiences allow participants to work on specific themes like setting boundaries, navigating power dynamics, and solving conflicts. These sessions delve into the profound ways we relate to ourselves and others, inviting participants to face challenges, develop new skills, and unlock deeper levels of self-awareness. They are designed to help you build relational strength and emotional clarity in a safe, yet impactful environment.

It’s important to clarify, however, that a Playfight session is not designed to process deep trauma. While the practice can surface emotions and create opportunities for growth, it’s not a replacement for therapy or specialized trauma work. For those seeking a more tailored and intentional approach to healing, we offer Playfight Coaching sessions. These one-on-one sessions provide a focused environment to explore and process trauma safely, with personalized guidance and support. They are ideal for those who wish to work through deeper challenges and align their emotional and relational growth with their unique needs.

Whether you're looking to explore Playfight for the first time or dive into its advanced practices, there is a pathway for everyone. From the joy of discovering playful connection to the depth of resolving conflicts and setting boundaries, Playfight provides a safe container for growth at every level.

If you're ready to take the first step, or if you’re curious about which session might be right for you, visit www.playfight.org/events to learn more. Whether through a basic session, an immersive retreat, or personalized coaching, we’re here to support you on your journey toward connection, healing, and empowerment.

Let’s move together, safely and intentionally, toward growth and empowerment.

See you in the circle.
Matteo Tangi